My B...

Dear Brooklyn,

Thank you for saying, "Mommy Mommy Mommy" and then giving me the biggest, BEST kisses in the entire world!

Thank you for laughing at yourself and loving yourself. I hope you continue to do that for the rest of your life. You are hilarious, smart and absolutely beautiful. I hope you always smile that big when you see yourself in the mirror!

Thank you for reminding me not to sweat the small stuff.

Thank you breaking into such awesome dance moves as soon as you hear music. I love that you love music!

Thank you for being so sweet to animals and getting so excited about them!! Daddy is wrong, you will never be a little hunter! :)

Thank you for inviting me into your beautiful little world everyday to explore and play with you. Even though Mommy IS too big for your slide and yet you insist I slide down too.

Thank you for loving me and thinking I am so wonderful. :)

I love you little B!

Much love,
Mommy

When I start to stress....

I just picture candlelight, music, family, friends and Dylan and I holding Brooklyn as we dance together the first night I finally get to share their last name. I know it will all come together. I know it will be perfect, at least perfect for us. I am so ready.



Much Love,
T

A Little Re-Vamp

Just rearranging the homespace. Way past my bedtime, must go sleep. I just wasted about an hour doing this and let me tell you, I enjoyed it. (Dylan can't understand the whole "blogging" thing. He just doesn't get it. About as much as I get his fantasy football obsession.)

Much Love,
T

“Be careful what you wear to bed at night, you never know who you'll meet in your dreams.”

I saw a preview to a movie tonight that reminded me how odd my dreams tend to be. I have always had very detailed, very intense dreams. I wake myself sometimes holding my breath, crying, sitting up, rocking, and once even in a push-up position. My old roomie was in my bed and she can vouch for that one, scared the crap out of her. Im not sure why I have such "real" dreams. In the words of Marsha Norman...." Dreams are illustrations....from the book your soul is writing about you."

A little visit to my dreams......

* I dream of falling, alot. I do that incredibly annoying thing where you jump and wake yourself. I usually include a good bite of the tounge in that jump which puts me in a bitter mood as I drift back to sleep.
* I have an old friend who visits my dreams alot. Has for years. Its always something simple, like just sitting around talking & laughing. I usually just awake feeling as if I had spent some time with them. It makes me happy, its always good to visit with an old friend.
*You would witness my insecurities. This happens too often. This is usually where the tears come in.
*You would see the most beautiful baby girl in the world. These are my favorite. She is as beautiful while I am sleeping as she is when I am awake. I dream of her laughter. We all hope that when our day comes, it happens peacefully in our sleep. I hope that too, and I want to see her beautiful face with me.
*I dream of Dylan. Good and bad. I dream of our future and our past. The time we spent apart creeps in sometimes to torture me. And then, the promises of our future offer a great start to the mornings.
*Once, before Brooklyn, I dreamed that I had a baby. I was so scared and terrified in the dream but when I woke up, I felt a sense of sadness that "my baby" wasn't real. I had no interest during that time in my life of being a mother any time soon so it was odd to feel a hint of "baby fever" for a couple of days after that one!
*I dream of highschool pretty often. Strange seeing as I never kept in close touch with many I went to school with. I blame facebook.
* I dream of my perfect wedding dress :) (though sometimes its totally different when I get it!)

I think I will start blogging after a note-worthy dream. Whats a blog for anyways.... dreams, thoughts, rants.........

Goodnight. Sweet dreams.

T

one more....

19 weeks until I FINALLY marry my love :) This is when we first started dating!!! :)

5 yrs & 2 months ago.

much love.

On a lighter note....

Brooklyn has discovered something new.... ATTITUDE!

Typical converstation:

Me: "Brooklyn, do you love Mommy?"

Brooklyn: Nods yes. (Sweet girl)

Me: "Can you put your shoes on so we can go to the store?"

B: "NO!" As she runs to get her shoes....

Me: "Lets put them on so we can go..."

B: "NO! MINE! MINE! MINE!"

Me: Lots of pleading ending in me carrying her and her carrying her shoes....

Me: Pushing B in the cart at said store...

B: "NO, DOWN DOWN DOWN.... MINE (toys, clothing, shoes...)"

This is just a little example... "No" and "Mine" are her new favs!! These sassy words come with looks to kill.

Blog Going To Sleep.

I'm not really sure what to do with myself. B is going to be at her GiGi & PeePaws's for 3 days! I keep thinking I need to go check on her and the remember she is not in her bed. I guess I have 3 days of Tara/ Tara & Dyl time. (We actually got to go to a movie on a whim tonight) I sure do miss that kiddo. I am sure I will find lots to do to keep busy. I have a rambling mind, there is always something to do or get into.

I keep dreaming about my wedding dress. That I get it back and its all wrong ( once it was super skanky short) and I wake up so relieved! Im soooo in love with it! Thanks to my AMAZING Mama, I walked in...tried it on(only the 2nd dress I tried on), fell in love even more and she said its ours!! Plus, I could tell it was the one, not just bc of Jessica & Sara's faces, but because of Mom's. I could tell she loved it and she agreed it was the one. That makes it even more perfect. Thanks Mom for not being one of those Mom's that try to tell me I should try on 50 more to "make sure it was the right one." It is THE ONE.

Oh and, I need song suggestions. We will be using good music all day and night so send me some ideas!! I know I only have 7 followers, but I trust you all have a song or two to suggest.

On yet another tangent, everything happens for a reason right??? Even though we make stupid decisions at times, we always walk away with something positive, even if its just a hard lesson learned.... right? Or sometimes we make a choice that right after we feel was possibly not the smartest choice. In this case I am going to stick with it and hope it all works out for the best! What fun is it to always play safe???? ( Oh and, this has nothing to do with the wedding or marrying Dylan!! Haha.) Funny... as I wrote this, Pandora played Chasing Pavements.

I think I will put an end to this terribly boring blog. My compter just went black and said MONITOR GOING TO SLEEP. Apparently, I put my damn computer to sleep with sleepy music and boring blogging. Nice. Since I had the lights off I wasn't aware our power cut off for a second, causing the computer to shut down. I was honestly offended there for a minute.

Much Love,

T

Let Your Soul & Spirit Fly....

Momma Patty has great taste in music. We were talking wedding music last weekend and I realized how thankful I am to have such a great mother in law. She loves music. I love her. She loves wine. I love laughing at her when she drinks wine. She is pretty great! Here she is with me, KK and Brooklyn at B's first music festival. I wish you could see that she is rocking my Stoney LaRue shirt. Awesome.

I have been such a slacker at this blogging thing. Sometimes when I can't sleep at night, I think of a million things I want to write, and by morning those thoughts are lost. Or they just don't sound as great. So, I end up with blogs like this.

I heard today that the average age in College Station is 23. True or not, I am old in this town. When I lived in Houston, I never thought about my age as being old but being in a college town I may as well be walking around with a cane. Hell, Im already getting gray hair! True story, though I admit I got my first one at 19. I probably qualify for the cheaper old people lunch around here.

Quick Updates:

• Miss B. She is wonderful. Besides the virus she is fighting now, the 4 ear infections since February, the ER visit on Mother's Day for falling and slamming her head hard enough to cause a purple golf ball on her forehead and the eye surgery scheduled in July.... we are great! This kid is going to give me heart attack. She is not afraid of anything. She climbs everything and then wants to jump off or in some cases dive off head first. She is picking up new words daily and repeating alot of what we say. This means it is critical that I learn to watch my mouth, like now. I need to try a swear jar or soap in my mouth. Dont judge me. I have mentioned before that she was on the "short side of average"... at the doc yesterday, she was TALLER than a 17mth old little boy. Yep, that's right. Short legs what??? Her hair is beautifully out of control. Lets be honest, she is perfect.
• Wedding planning. It is actually going great so far. Venue booked, dress bought, save the dates waiting to be mailed. I can't believe the dress that I proclaimed as "MY DRESS" after seeing only the top half in a magazine ad a year ago, turned out to be exactly what I was dreaming of. I honestly believe it was made for me. I totally made fun of the whole wedding book thing until my MOH bought me one (my fivestar apparently wasn't good enough for her) and I LOVED it! I am probably one of the most laid back, easiest brides ever (to please), and I am pretty sure that drives my "maidzilla" crazy! Ha... Love you Jess! You are the greatest MOH ever!
• Me & Dyl.... busy, busy, busy. He graduates in August! So proud of him. I started a new job, quit and then started a new one. Maybe someday I will write more on that. Maybe not. Our schedules are crazy and we work totally different hours but we have family night twice a week and then our weekends are full of visiting with friends and family. Family night..... how cute is that?? :)

Well, Dyl is working & B is in bed.... Tara time!!! Im going to cuddle up with my favorite blanket and watch It's Complicated. I've heard all good things! :)

P.S. I want to rock your gypsy soul..........

Much Love,

T

FINALLY... A date!

It is finally going to happen.... for real! November 12, 2010, I will marry my love :) The date is set! It is all going down at 7F Lodge in College Station, TX. This is home to us. We considered having the wedding outside of Austin, but this where we met, fell in love, fought like mad, made the most beautiful baby girl in the entire world..... This is our home. Now, we have 6 months to plan this party!!! Here goes!

Whining.

Not Brooklyn, myself. I am whining because I started a new job and I am hating almost every minute of it. Not that it is terrible, but I miss Brooklyn. I miss breakfast and lunch with the coolest kid ever. I miss watching Spongebob and Dora over and over and over beacuse she gets so excited. I miss hearing "This is seeewious" during Wonder Pets and giggling. I miss reading books during the day. Im not gonna lie, I miss naptime. I miss getting B dressed everyday and going for walks. I miss our together time. Nothing compares. I am struggling with this. Alot. I wanted to work but at the same time I want to be a hands-on Mommy. A Mom who gets to spend more than 4 hours a day M-F with her precious babe. I want both. I want to work and be successful at whatever I choose to do and at the same time get to spend quality time with my kid(s). We know we want more so it will just continue to get more difficult. I don't want to stay home until Brooklyn and my future kiddos are in school and then have nothing to fall back on but I don't want some corporate business job that sucks the soul right out of me and doesn't leave me any quality time with my family. I miss seeing Dylan more. I know that this is what most people do everyday and some may say it is all a part of life. But not my life. I want to enjoy my time here and make sure that my family knows that they are number one. Always. So.... what to do?????

Right now, I am going to spend time with Dyl and catch up on our shows. My head my explode soon.

Much Love.

(p.s. that is one of the many amazing pics of brooklyn by www.alisoneden.com)